John denver said it best

I really do believe John Denver said it best when he said my life feels like a sad song. Sitting outside by a fire on this Sunday night  Tom gone once again. I can't help to feel so many things sad, angry, upset, disappointed, jealous, proud, lonely, board, and a multitude of other things I just don't of words for. Tom has been gone for 12 weeks and he was going to be home all weekend before he was to be gone for about another 5 weeks. One of his close friend mother had died earlier this week her funeral is the Monday after Tom gets home. So he decided he would go. He got home about 5pm on Saturday and then left around 4am Sunday, and will be back very earlier Tuesday morning. then off again for  the 5 week, we might get to see him on weekend but well that sucks so much. I think what might have tipped my emotions off was when I asked when my mom dies will you go to the funeral (now Tom and my mom have never gotten a long to well) he said ummm the  paused which seemed so long but was probably only a 10-15 seconds before he said sure. I mean really a pause, He go's to a friends mom funeral and I get a pause, I wonder if he paused when thinking about going to this funeral. I was so hurt I am his wife would he not really want to be there for me. I know he waits to be there for his friend in her time of need, but I just want to be jealous and have to myself and the kids especially not seeing home for 12 weeks. I wonder if he even thought of me and the kids when making this disition. I didn't want to cause problems and he had already bought the tickets before I new he was going,  I wish he would had jus told me he might go. I had plans to do things sit today, not anything big just grilled pizza a fire and fun with the kids. but I sit by the fire all by meself and decide I need a way to vent with out everyone knowing how I really feel and I think this will be the best avenue. So here is to today and many more posts